Miss Paint: Part 1

To start us off, a bit of Athenian trivia. "Peristeri" is a real area of Athens, and the Greek word for "pigeon". You will find pigeons in this fictional version of Peristeri - or, rather, they will find you - but were we to name this godforsaken place after the creature that populates it most densely, we really should call it "Cops". Cops are a part of this story. Homeless men are a part of this story. Young artists who suffer menial part-time jobs to fund their creative pursuits are a part of this story. The protagonist of this story, however, is a middle-aged woman named Iris. You would call Iris a protagonist, but you would never call her a hero, especially not to her face. If you called Iris a hero, she might actually die. Why? Because, God, she's no hero, am I? I mean, is she? Let me answer that: she's not. In fact, she's nobody, really. A totally unexceptional, deeply conservative, borderline detached shadow of a person who'd just like some paint. Pai--? Sorry, I meant paint. No. Not paint. I was gonna say she just wants some-- P a i n t.